Alright I've done the negative post. I love my son dearly but I must admit, at times, I just can't get through to him. There is always something going on, some new drama. It feels like somebody up there thinks I need to to be tested, just to see if I can stand it. "Hmmmm...wonder if this one wil break her?"
Not yet, Not yet. Not ever.
Anyway, despite the craziness of my life here I've found some sanity. I've found a place to go where I don't feel stressed, I feel comfortable, happy, safe and most of all hopeful. It's not really a place at all it's a man I've been spending time with. I like him and he's made me see just how guarded and distrustful I have been of letting anyone in for so long. I didn't even see I was like that.
I can feel my barriers dropping little by little the more I see him. If he reads this I hope he figures out who I am talking about. He makes me laugh and he makes me feel like maybe I do matter and maybe I'm not really crazy after all. I really enjoy spending our Sundays together but now Sundays are sarting to feel too short and too far apart.
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