Making that decision happen...

I stand firm in my decision to move. I have found a place I like and made an offer, I like doing things backwards, I haven't even put this place on the market. I thought I'd feel sad about selling this house, the place that had so many high hopes but turned to shit instead. I don't, it holds nothing for me, I can't wait to be rid of it, it has bad karma about it now. My son is so resistant to moving and I know he is going to make it as hard as possible to move.

The sight of Real Estate agents going through the house making notes, handy men arriving and me packing boxes scares the hell out of my son. The fact I made an offer on a townhouse 3 suburbs away sends him over the edge, he refuses to see the chance of a fresh start for both of us as a positive step. I know, without a doubt, it is the best decision for our future. Remaining here is not an option anymore.

So, me the great procrastinator, is doing the usual, wait until your back is against the wall and then hit panic stations. Well, not that bad, but when I have a clear vision of what I need to do, I'll do it, come hell or high water.

The offer on the town house would have been accepted IF my house was on the market, which it isn't YET. One of the Estate Agents came back with a valuation on my house and a good advertising campaign and a reasonable commission. She tells me once I have decluttered my house and have it up to scratch it can be up for sale within 24 hours. So much has happened this week, my son was supposed to fly interstate to spend time with his Dad, he ran away at the airport and refused to board the plane.

I was really looking forward to a week of peace to organise a few things and have some seriously needed sanity time. My son made some admissions to his Dad about himself, things I suspected but he constantly denied. So now I have time off work to organise appointments for him with a doctor and a psychologist. I managed to get him to the doctor, the next battle is to the psychologist appointment. He is fighting me all the way on this and it is a real uphill battle. He made promises to me and his Dad that he would seek help, it's just making him keep his end of the bargain now. People tell me, one day my son will thank me for what I am doing now, at the moment it feels like he hates me.

And to think I could have been in Port Douglas this week. I know I said Sundays were too far apart but this week it's hit me how much I value my Sundays with Rob. Not just for the sanity time. It has dawned on me how much I've missed him this week. The feelings I have for him have snuck up on me, I didn't expect to feel this way. I didn't know if this could work, didn't know how much we had in common. I think we are good for each other and the more I see the more I like. I know distance is an issue but it's one I think we can work around. Hope he feels the same, hope he can see the sane person lurking behind all the craziness. If all this stuff wasn't happening with my son, I think I could almost say I feel contentment in my life again.

There is so much I want to say but I think I'll say it in person rather than through my blog. Hmmmm.........the next installment.........