7th July 2008.

My first real attempt at having my own blog, two months ago I didn't know what a blog was.

It is two days shy of being a year since my husband died. I can't believe it has been that long ago and yet, I've grown so much since then. I still miss him terribly, but not like my heart has been ripped out anymore, just a constant sadness I don't think will ever leave me.

I've come to realise it's just me now, there isn't anyone sharing my life anymore. I have my son but he is on the verge of his own life. So if I'm going to be happy and content again it's up to me.

I guess this is like my computer diary, much neater than my real one. I find whenever I go through turmoil in my life I keep a journal, I have been keeping a journal for nearly two years. What does that tell you?

The photo I have posted if about three years old. I used this one because it was from a really happy time in my life, when I really had it all. A happy marriage with my best friend. I think that was the last time I can remember being truely happy and content, a distant memory.